Apology

I'm sorry that I am upset
I'm sorry that I am hurt
I truly do not mean to be
I truly need for you to see
I'm sorry that you've lost my trust
I'm sorry that I've let that happen
I'm sorry I don't know what to do
How to act or speak around you
I'm sorry that to me something has changed
I'm sorry my heart's been rearranged
I want for things to go back
To be the way they were
You and me and no one else
Why did you take that from me
We were so happy
So why did you ruin it
Now my heart is bleeding
And I don't know what to do
I can either choose to stay
Or run away from you

Knowing

I know why I love being with you
Why I feel like I need it all the time
Because the only way I can make sure
That you are completely safe and ok
Is when I can see you next to me
And I know why I love holding you
Having you in my arms
Being able to feel your breath on my skin
Because then too I know
That you are healthy and well
And I know why I still need you
Why I always will need you
Because I care about you now and forever
And because I love you

Hugs

It's a warm soul sharing
Saying it doesn't matter
What happened in the past
Or what's happening in the future
Or even what's going on right now
All that matters is you and me
Right here, right now
That's all that's left
I forgive you for everything
I'm sorry for anything I've done
I care so deeply for you
And I want you to know that
I love you.
That is a hug.

Thunderstorm

I can't help but wonder
As I lie upon my bed
Late at night when all is quiet
And the only sound is the
Gentle tapping of the rain
On the window pane
How a person who meant so much
Who you talked to every day
Who was the most beautiful girl in the world
Who was your dearest friend
Who you deeply loved and cared for
Can simply not exist any longer
And when the winds pick up
And the lightning crashes, once, far away
I think of the distance you put between us
Of the pain I felt for so long from awayness
And my current sense of indifference
A feeling I waited for, to stop the pain
But am not sure how to handle now
I wonder how you feel
And when the thunder softly sounds
The rain comes down harder
Maybe you think of me
Maybe you feel the pain too
Just when you think it is quiet
You see lightning just outside the window
So close and the thunder shakes your home
Perhaps you care about me
And feel sorrow when you hear my name
When your friends mention me
When you see me, or things that I gave you
When your sister talks of me
Or maybe you have no feeling
And have done what I am doing now
Blocking out the sad, loneliness
In the process, also the good
But something must block the pain
You must stop caring
The storm reaches the climax
Lightning so close, nearly touchable
That just disappears with no trace
Like the hopes of you and me again
The storm quiets, ending
Just as we must do
But the next storm
I just can't help but wonder

Sleepless

night
peace
silence
someone is crying
always at night
every night
someone
somewhere in the world
is crying
helplessness has led them to tears
no one listens
no one cares
because if someone did
they wouldn’t be crying

Rainbows Are Overwhelming Joy (an acrostic)

Rain comes
And we
Intently look at the sky
Needing to see something that
Brings hope to our lives
Opens our hearts and
Weakens our stubbornness that we may
Sing and show compassion
All that we have kept inside
Revealing who we really are to
Everyone in the world
Opens our minds to the
Vast knowledge that comes when
Everybody learns to
Relax and
Watch the sky so they may
Help others because when
Everyone
Loves
More
Is accomplished in
Not as much time as before
Giving us the ability to
Jump and reach the unknown
Only if we all would look not just
You and me

No More

Dearest love
Hidden secret
No more shall I suffer
No more shall I be victim
To the cruelty
That comes from being me
Who I am
How I live
The torture I
Receive
From the inside
My innermost being
From myself
No one to blame but myself
No one’s fault but my own
How does this happen
That I should be this way
In any case
It shall not exist
Anymore
I can’t stand it
Anymore
No more shall I suffer
No more!